the above entry was dissapointment and angst-filled. i cried it all out two nights ago and after talking much to wenling, kenneth and kerliang, i'm pretty much fine already :)

for the whole month of august, i spent 16 days working. and i closed a total of deals worthed of $11K. i think i am good. and it is their luck and fortune to have employed a talkative girl like me. the management of the company always like to say " your face very cute leh, are you new ? what is your name ? " with that, i don't know if i should be feeling glad or not. because i believe at 20 years of age, i wouldn't want to be called cute anymore. why can't you all call me hot. whatever. i'm glad all my hardwork paid off. at least i didn't flash my megawatt smile for nothing. come saturday, i'll be running a roadshow at marina square ! come come come look for me ! fitness is goooood, my ladies !

oh i learnt from work how much is exactly 1kg of body fats. looking at my tummy, i think i have 3 kg there. shame shame. emily.

how can 19 weeks of shit internship passed me by just like that ? now as i think back, i couldn't recall much. i am now gleefully slamming the keys on the keyboard as i'm typing this. internship was just shit and loads of shit. today is the last. for the past 4 semesters in tp, i clubbed on the very last day of my exam. it is a tradition. tonight, i am skipping KRUNK market because i had problems getting tickets one way or another. was supposed to be zouk with jac and carmen tonight. but jac just wants to be the biggest "pang seh" in the world because "go wednesday la ! ladies night don't have to pay what ! " what cheapskate. tonight i am going for a midnight movie. tmr night will be another movie date after work. monday too, i'm watching a movie. and then, i'll be the biggest " pok gai " in the world by then. and i will be very grateful that jac decides to be the biggest "pang seh" in the world today and visit zouk on a wednesday instead of a friday. pok gai thanks pangseh. thanks ah jac !

p.s : i would glady tell you that i love you. in fact, right now, i want to tell you that i miss you so much, i've been thinking of you every night when i travel home alone. but i cant do that, i wont allow myself to. not now, maybe not anymore. i want to know if you're doing fine. but i dont want to text you. i'll hold them back. i'll just pretend i've never met you. someday i'll have to live without you. right now, i'm just trying to see how its like. you can say that i am always the one who like to assume that you're the one tearing up relationships. you can say a million things about me badmouthing the relationship. but you can never say that i've never given up anything for you because i have and i trusted you with my heart(too much cheese, but true.) and that is enough to justify how much i'm willing to sacrifice for you.

all the disappointments have given me the strength to shut the door.

for now, i have a little getting over and moving on to do.

out.