-edit 6:00pm

i'll follow whatever caine did in his livejournal. his journal had been one of my favourites. so many emotions. everything meticulously jotted down.

i said '06 was shit. people who were with me all 12 months knows. peiru, wenling, you all know what i'm trying to say. nevertheless, i have really wonderful friends who were there with me through this year. mainly peiru, yunwen, wenling, stef, kerly, kenneth, jac. thank you and i love all of you long time.

january- broke up with vanessa on the 3rd day of the year. cried alone at the clinic while waiting for a fake mc. too emo for school. the remaining 28 days of the month seems damn long.

febuary- struggled with my emotions. studied damn hard for exams not wanting to fail myself. it was a tough fight. i had my cigarettes with me 24/7, and i became the most disgusting girl alive. thankfully exams results were ideal. v'day was being sick and crying under my blanket.

march- hols. worked my life out at the gym 4 times a week.quarrelled with wenling. got closer to yunwen. i love her. my steadiest friend ever. she makes me laugh and make me forget my troubles. i never bathed at home. in the morning, i bathe at sentosa. at night, i bathed at fitnessfirst. i was practically out everyday and i am happy. fell in love(completely) with geraldine see. i became a cardio freak.

april- the geraldine craze ended. vanessa came back. i stupidly felt that i was complete again with all the " good morning,baby", " i can't wait to speak to you tonight. are you going home soon babe ? " bullshit. but i have to admit things were totally loveydovey for us the second time round.

may- school was crap. i never felt anymore helpless in school with a major project from CGH. very crappy indeed. i wanted to really just quit. drifted away from yunwen; she disappeared. i disappeared from fitnessfirst too.

june- worst month of the year. that fucked up ex girlfriend of vanessa was back to attackwith her disgusting acts. i was crazy to even think about maintaining a long distance r/s with her. tension rised. vanessa says she's sorry. i say i want out. she left for australia. broke up with vanessa. got closer to ann. birthday was horrid. thank you to people who tried making it wonderful for me. but those whom i needed most with me left me completely alone.

july- yet another emotional struggle. 2 more months before my next holiday. i have pending assignments by CGH, and had to get used to life being alone again.

august- started working at amore. fucked up workplace with politics. i missed fish and co. with the same crew, i don't mind living and dying fish and co. school days got better. i see light for my project. got closer to kenneth. i see him every saturday without fail.

september- holidays finally. i spend my days making money. got closer to stef.

october- japan and bintan trip. its been hell long since i felt liberation. i was overseas half the month.

november- find myself all infatuated with kerly. school started. attended only 1 lecture in 7 weeks. learnt and understand of the whole fuss about paper chase. knew lynette. failed my first driving test.

december- spend almost everyday of the first and second week in the library studying. returned to fitness first, not wanting to think about anything else. cruise trip with favourite peiru(!) and stef for christmas.

i better be thankful and feel blessed. days had been totally mundane. but at least there are no more school and girlfriend problems.

i know i've said it before but; i survived '06.

and '07 beckons.

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-edit 3:33pm

whatever happened

something isn't quite right with me. whatever happened to the emily who'd spend her entire weekend in town/parkway for tea, shopping trips , movies and a whole load of fun.

it happened during the two weeks when i had to study for term tests. i made sure i stay home or in the library to study bearing what my dad said in mind " stay at home and study la girl. you think you have no time to go shopping ah ? study hard, when you grow up, you have ample time to do whatever you want la okay ? " he emphasized, on the word, "ample".

now, its holidays and i am just a bag of lazy bones ! and i am stuck at home. the only place i feel like going will be vivo city. but the disgusting crowd is almost a complete turnoff. whatever happened to me. i don't use to care if there are crowds. or not.

oh no. am i secretly morphing into a boring home girl. i hope not ! bring me out somebody. tell me " go la go la ! we go shopping and eat damn alot okay ? "

:(

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tonight i am in a horrible mood. funny how something from a 13 year old can affect me this bad. i dont know. i think i am so tired. when i say i dont want to care, maybe i really shouldnt at all. and live up to my promise of not giving a damn about anything regarding them.

i think i am dying of exhaustion.