EDIT 11:07PM

i really lost my calculator. i think i left it at coffeebean at gardens ystd. i refused to buy a new one because none can replace the very same one i had with me for years. the one which i got my tuition classmate, victoria, to use her very nice silver markerpen to draw a very cute whale on it for me. the one which i jabbed the "on" button so damnit hard and many times over the years whenever i cannot get my calculations right. and i only have myself to blame for losing it ystd. this brings me to nothing being for forever. and, yet another emo trip.

strangely, post-exam elation has not settled in. but i truely appreciate the coming 2 weeks break for me to get rid of the malfunctionals and dysfunctionals thoughts in the mind/ things lying around the room. a little pruning is good. anything superfluous/ undesirable has to go (as much as you are unwilling to.) because everybody needs space. all that suffocates the hell out of you and deprieve you of breaths should go.

and this brings me to, as much as me wanting to practice indifference, i can't really sometimes.
prolly i've not tried hard enough. prolly i need another 20 more reasons not to look back.

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HOW CAN IT BE SO COINCIDENTAL.. OH, I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. I THINK I WANT TO THROW IN THE TOWEL NOW. NO, MAYBE NOT. MAYBE I JUST WANT TO HIDE UNDER MY BLANKET AND CRY.

PEI RU, REMEMBER THAT PRETTY PLAN I TOLD YOU AT GARDENS 2 SUNDAYS AGO. IT IS NOW VERY VERY FOILED. NOT MUCH OF A PRETTY SURPRISE ANYMORE.

:( I AM MISS GROUCHY.