you could be happy

i woke up new today, with an urgent need to snip my hair away. i feel the need to feel almost weightless. and then i walked kilometres home tonight with the skin feeling so good from the cold breeze. i have exams around the corner, some other miscellaneous issues to care about, but the clutter ironically felt cleared today. i gravitated towards the wave of liberation and felt a tiny moment of happiness. i recalled the times i felt were hard, and how i eventually got through them. i remember destructing and being destructed. today's an extraordinary day. there's nothing in this world you can't face.

but i could feel the little part still there lurking in the atmosphere, always ready to attack when the heart is at its weakest point. there's a part of my life that needs to be dissolved, a past that needs to be squared away. but i don't know which is it exactly and i'm not able to pinpoint. and it will continue to scare the hell out of me.

i need to cut my hair, throw some dollars at the mall, drink alcohol and down spoonfuls of nutella on a lonely highway. my best company would be trespassers william and i want to feel like a kite flying so effortlessly listening to her. for the most part of it, finally, i want to realise that beautiful things can come from the dark too.

i could really be happy.